Get away and Let go...

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I lost a dream of pink roses and white dresses. I would imagine dancing in a garden full of love, far away from the world. Somewhere in the pits of my heart, I often wondered how it would feel to get away.

I packed my bags so quickly, finally, the day had come, the day I was getting out of my cage. I remember the thrill that I held with the idea of who I was going to be. I had a plan, one quite simple, but no one warned me that life loved to mock the soulful. That goodbyes were inevitable and my grandfather’s hugs weren’t going to always be there. That there would be a last time in the confines of my bed without worry of the world outside. Nobody told me that the day I got out was the beginning of never going back again.

One step, two steps, and the universe let goes of your hand. It pushes you slightly and nudges you for one step on your own.

“I can’t!” You scream.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” it spins around you, mocking you and you realize that what you hold in your feeble hands is but an illusion of control.

You close your eyes and take a third step. Jumping on one foot and staggering just not enough to fall. “Where am I going?” you ask desperately, looking back over your shoulder.

The universe smiles, “Well, you wouldn’t know if you keep standing there.”

Fear laps in waves but you have that bit of control, just enough courage to walk on your own. You pave the way for yourself and the soil opens up to your feet. Smiling, there you are opening your arms to the gift of life. To the gift of living and on your own you go.

Home isn’t home anymore, but Mama’s beef stew tastes the same. The guy who promised you forever at fifteen now lives across the country with the love of his life, and you searched until you found your own. Your best friend is moving on and the job you were denied inspired you to have something of your own.

You laugh at yourself, “If only I knew, I wouldn’t have let it hurt as much…”

The familiar voice rings, “If you hadn’t hurt that much, then you wouldn’t have come so far...”