One foot in, one foot out.
But once the door closes, please forget me.
I implore you not to think of me.
I hope my memory fades with the wind, I hope it follows me with its sorrow. May its gap leave you yearning into the abyss, missing something you can’t grasp, searching for something you can’t recall. May your soul live in perpetual anguish for a love that slipped through your fingers, for a lover long gone.
For I won’t leave my shadows to haunt you. I will take everything that I came with. I will carry my hope over me, and my joy on my shoulder. My misery will sit behind my back and so will the agony. My laughter won’t stick around to haunt you, instead, it will follow me on my journey to a place I know nothing of yet. I shall leave you with nothing but your own spirit, for I am too selfish to leave memories for a man full of hubris. And what will you be on your own?
Once the door closes, my image will be erased from your mind. It is because I so wish to rub off any imprint I had on your life. I will take all the blemishes, and the scars, all the wrinkles and creases, and leave you like a brand-new man.
For I have pondered the agony of remembering everything. I do not fear being forgotten, but I know you will remember something and nothing all at once. You will feel a void without knowing its cause. The blankness of your memory will create a longing that is sentence enough for letting me go. The emptiness will haunt you.
Our past will be lost in the ether. My voice will sound like any other, if not lost. My face will not remind you of anyone. My face will not remind you of anyone. You will search for me in everything and everyone, devastated by the uncertainty of what you seek. You will look in the mirror and think you were damned, praying for forgiveness for an unfathomable sin. You will mumble to yourself and the voices in your head will mock you, but you will never remember.
You will live longing until the day your soul is laid to rest.
Once the door closes, you will never find me again.
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